Being alone, but not truly alone.

Today I was supposed to go to work. I was scheduled for a 12pm to 7pm shift. I work in retail so it's not like its extremely strenuous work. But as I woke up this morning, I felt empty and hollow. That explains my previous blog. It was so bad I called into work and I called my mom to tell her she needed to come home. When I get in these moods, I want to be alone. But at the same time, I don't like to be alone truly. I'd be happy being cooped up in my room having no one bothering me, but I'd like to have someone downstairs just so I know that there is at least someone there. I haven't always wanted to be so isolated. I don't know when things changed really, but even my mom told me I became a bitter, negative, hateful person. I don't want to be this way. But I don't know how to be any other way.